Is it normal to mourn a previous marriage years later even though you are remarried? Today I would have been married 11 years. Although I just celebrated my own wedding anniversary with my CURRENT husband (4 years) I still can't seem to let January 19th slip by unnoticed. This is an issue that should probably be taken to a family or spiritual counselor, but alas at this time I just don't have those resources. My former spouse had a struggle with addiction that to this day he still has. Actually, "struggle" is the incorrect word. Struggle implies that he tried to fight the addiction. He never did (except once, a very halfhearted attempt when I filed the divorce). He just gave in and immersed himself in it. So there was no way the marriage could have been saved.
I know without a doubt I have no feelings for my former spouse, and I have zero respect for him. I've mentioned in an old blog how he was one person for the first 4 years of our union but he totally transformed into his "other" self the last 4 when the addiction took hold and, quite literally, sucked the soul from his spirit. I actually look at it as a death: that "soulmate" I had "died" after the first four years in, and the douchebag I've dealt with from then on (he is the biological father/sperm donor of my oldest child) is a separate entity of the man I'd known.
My current husband now is a better man in every single way, and I love him (in a different way than I loved the first, but love is love no matter how you "categorize the depth"). But I still deeply mourn the "first four years of the former" even after all this time. January 19th has never gotten any easier. Is this normal?